Normal Relationships

I was raised in a conservative, Christian home; I was surrounded by conservative, Christian neighbors; and I only had conservative, Christian role-models in my life. I had wonderful, dedicated relationships to reference as I grew up. I always knew what ideal relationships looked like. But I couldn't help but wonder, as I grew up, whether these relationships were applicable to me. I figured that my parents, neighbors, and the parents of my peers were wonderful models of how a desirable relationship should look like, but that I could not personally relate to them because I was a young woman living in the 21st century. I began to assume that these lovely relationships were ideal--but not particularly realistic. I mean, I grew up in a utopia--Utah is, after all, quite removed from what one would experience in other parts of the world. Since I grew up surrounded by Mormons, I could only compare relationships to what I'd seen in a Mormon context.

Where, then, did I look for "real-life" examples of relationships? Well, Grey's Anatomy and Friends, of course. Those shows portrayed relationships that I knew I would never encounter in my small hometown of Centerville, Utah. And though I certainly never aspired to the depicted relationships in these shows, I did assume that their characterizations of love and romance might be more close to what I might experience than the blissful yet dull characterizations I saw at home. I assumed that what I witnessed at home was idyllic, but something that I couldn't personally aspire to. I figured that my parents and neighbors were remarkably lucky, but that I would have to be a little more cautious because relationships simply weren't that squeaky-clean today. I assumed that my home life was far too removed from what really happens in the world.

This makes me so sad. I mean, how does that even MAKE SENSE? Television is more realistic than the things I see in real life???

 No. I refuse to believe that. While sexual promiscuity, including relationships based on sexual gratification as opposed to personal commitment, may be becoming the increasingly popular norm of our culture today, that does not change the fact that ideal circumstances can be MY normal. Yes, my parents' committed relationship does not match what we would expect to see in the "real world", but why on Earth does that matter? It thrived in MY world! I lived it--and so I know that it can be achieved.

I'm not going to lower my expectations about love, dedication, and fidelity in relationships. The experiences of my family and friends may not be "normal"--but I dare say that I knew that from the start. They've always been much, much better.